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Review by E.C. McMullen Jr. |
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USA Release: Oct. 17, 1973 (Waco, Texas) Granada Films, Benmar Productions, Scotia International Rating: USA: N/A |
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HORROR EXPRESS opens with a trek of people across a snowbound landscape. We hear the deep sepulchral voice of Professor Sir Alexander Saxton (Christopher Lee: THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN, HORROR OF DRACULA, CORRIDORS OF BLOOD, THE HOUND OF BASKERVILLES, THE MUMMY, HORROR HOTEL, THE TERROR OF THE TONGS, HORROR CASTLE, DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS, DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE, THE OBLONG BOX, SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN, TASTE THE BLOOD OF DRACULA, DRACULA A.D., THE CREEPING FLESH, THE WICKERMAN, END OF THE WORLD, HOUSE OF THE LONG SHADOWS, GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH, SLEEPY HOLLOW, THE LORD OF THE RINGS [all], CORPSE BRIDE, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, THE HOBBIT, nearly 300 productions) leads this expedition and deep within a cave, finds the frozen body of a humanoid/anthropoid. Well that's good enough for him and his crew carry the heavy block of ice, well covered and chained in a huge box, back down the mountain and to Russia. Or Shanghai if you prefer. There's a difference between what the credits are on the screen and what the actors are saying to each other.
Professor Saxton is having a difficult time with the station master. Seems the rail man can't find his tickets - ordered three weeks in advance - and doesn't care. Saxton doesn't suffer fools gladly, but then a vague associate, Doctor Wells (Peter Cushing: BRIDES OF DRACULA, TALES FROM THE CRYPT [1972], DR. PHIBES RISES AGAIN,SHOCKWAVES, HOUSE OF THE LONG SHADOWS, ) shows up. Saxton is too frustrated to dispense with cheery formalities, that ice is going to melt and his discovery will be destroyed.
The Station Master doesn't have Doctor Wells' tickets either, but with an airy tone, he offers the Station Master a bribe and voila! His tickets are found.
Saxton refuses to deal with such corruption, throws everything on the Station Master's desk onto the floor and is about to mop the floor with the Station Master, when the Russian police step in (Shanghai? They're awfully Caucasian in appearance), say they were sent to assist Professor Saxton, salute smartly and await his instructions. Before Saxton can speak, the vulgar Station Master finds Saxton's ticket among the papers that were swept from his desk.
TRIVIA Peter Cushing's wife, Violet Helene Beck, died in January of 1971. The shoot for HORROR EXPRESS was in December of that year. As the Holidays approached and Cushing knew that this would be his first without his beloved wife of 28 years. He was so wracked with grief that her personally went to Producer Bernard Gordon, days before the shoot, to tell him he couldn't do it. His friend, Christopher Lee, took time to console Peter, reminiscing about their years and work together. Lee invited Cushing to stay with him and his family during the shoot so he wouldn't have to be alone. With the warmth of friendship in place, Peter agreed to honor his promise to make this movie.
Peter and his wife never had children, so after HORROR EXPRESS he spent the rest of his life alone and never remarried. According to Lee, he never got over the grief of losing the love of his life. |
How Opportune!
Soon there's a hullabaloo outside the station as Saxton goes to have his container put on the train. He sees its been tampered with. A local gendarme, Inspector Mirov (Julio Pena: SATANIK, THE FEAST OF SATAN, THE WEREWOLF VERSUS THE VAMPIRE WOMAN, HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB, LAS FLORES DEL MIEDO), recognizes the dead body next to it as a well known thief in the area, and a self-styled Holy man calling himself Father Pujardov (Alberto de Mendoza: PSYCHOUT FOR MURDER, THE STRANGE VICE OF MRS. WARDH, A LIZARD IN A WOMAN'S SKIN, THE CASE OF THE SCORPION'S TAIL, THE PEOPLE WHO OWN THE DARK) tells all who will listen that the large box is full of evil.
Evil you say? What an E-Gad moment for Professor Saxton as everyone wants to get in his box business and stand in his way!
Professor Saxton flexes all of the control he can over his container and is soon on the train, but nothing is going right.
He barely has a moment to step away from it when Countess Irina Petrovski (Silvia Tortosa: THE LORELEY'S GRASP) steps up, holding her agitated poodle, flirts with him, and wants to know what's in his crate that has her dog so upset.
As gently as he can, the Professor kindly shooes her away.
Then as bad luck would have it, he's sharing train compartment 8 with Doctor Wells. Doctor Wells just took on a lovely stowaway, Natasha (Helga Line: THE BLANCHEVILLE MONSTER, NIGHTMARE CASTLE, KRIMINAL, AVENGER X, SO SWEET ... SO PERVERSE, MY DEAR KILLER, HORROR RISES FROM THE TOMB, THE LORELEY'S GRASP, THE DRACULA SAGA, SANTO VS. DOCTOR DEATH, THE VAMPIRE'S NIGHT ORGY, THE KILLER OF DOLLS, THE MUMMY'S REVENGE, ESTIGMA, LOS RITOS SEXUALES DEL DIABLO) and would kinda like some privacy, eh, wot?
Oh, I say! You startled us! But I assure you, it's not what you think!
Yet even if it IS what you think, it's none of your F'n business!
Frustrated, sexually or otherwise, Doctor Wells pays the train's baggage man to drill a hole in Professor Sir Alexander Saxton's crate and take a peek at just what the hell is in there.
The next thing you know, whatever was inside is thawed out and out, and the dead baggage man is in its place!
A Monster is on the loose! On a train! And it can look like anyone!
By golly now we've got a movie!
What is the meaning of all of this Balderdash?
The screenplay by Julien Zmet (CRACK IN THE WORLD, PSYCHE 59, PSYCHOMANIA) and Arnaud d'Usseau (PSYCHOMANIA) delivers and to this day keeps HORROR EXPRESS among the top of Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee's catalog.
The soapy theme music by John Cacavas (THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA, BLADE [1973], THE ELEVATOR, HANGAR 18, MORTUARY), was played a bit too TeeVee which, as it happened, opened a whole career for John in composing theme music for American TV shows. I could have enjoyed Director Eugenio Martin (HYPNOSIS, THE FOURTH VICTIM, IT HAPPENED AT NIGHTMARE INN)'s movie a whole lot more if that romantically incongruous music wasn't played so much.
Unfortunately, that was the fashion in European (and sometimes U.K.) movies of that era.
American posters Anglicized Eugenio Martin's name to Gene Martin, stating he was the producer as well, but no. This was one of three movies Bernard Gordon produced and he was better known for his writing (EARTH VS THE FLYING SAUCERS, THE MAN WHO TURNED TO STONE, THE ZOMBIES OF MORA TAU, THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS [as Philip Yoran])
Actor Telly Savalas (LISA AND THE DEVIL, CAPRICORN ONE, MIND TWISTER) makes a third act appearance as the Russian Captain Kazan. His character dominates the scene, chews the scenery, yet somehow doesn't derail the story. Kazan is colorful, flamboyant, and swaggeringly effeminate. If all you know is Savalas from Kojack or his war movies, he'll have you thinking that he could have convincingly portrayed Dr. Frank N. Furter in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.
Don't get strung out / by the way I look / Don't judge a book by its cover!
In its time HORROR EXPRESS took Cushing and, particularly Lee, away from reinventing staid old vampires, mummies, werewolves, and haunts, and put them into new and refreshing territory.
Three Shriek Girls.
This review copyright 2023 E.C.McMullen Jr.
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